A Thank You Note to a Courageous Grandparent

I was in Cross Creek Manor, a WWASP facility in LaVerkin Utah. I was there for seven months and four days (Oct 3rd 2001 to May 7th, 2002). It was the worse experience of my life. I literally counted the days of my nightmare.

Those seven months were the longest and most miserable ones of my life. I was held there against my will and I bet every other kid there would say the same. No child or teen deserves to be in a place like I was no matter what the reasons are. Maybe for one or two days for a wake up call but no more.

I had my occasional problems, just like everyone else, but there are better methods of solving problems than locking your kids up. The only communication you are allowed is in letters, which are read by staff before they are sent out. They can decide if any letter cannot be mailed and it will be read by the therapist or so called therapist. I later found out that my therapist was not licensed or qualified to do any kind of counseling. He would often use it in a therapy session to humiliate me. I was limited as to what you can write and I couldn't ask to go home. There are BIG consequences for that or any rules you break. You will be made to sit in a small cell with concrete floors. You sit with your arms stretched out for hours. You can't talk to anyone and a staff member will watch you and if you talk they record everything you say. You are fed a piece of bread and an apple.

It is a terrible thing to be alone with no one you can trust or talk to for months to years. There are kids that have been in this place up to four years. I think the government does not step in because it is a multi-million dollar association. Does that make all the abuse going on in these places, ok? Is it ok for all these kids to go through all the pain? I watched other kids be embarrassed, as well as my self, by staff and never able to say anything. I watched kids try to kill themselves in different ways. One was sticking a pencil down their throat. Death to all of us was better than being in there. I also tried suicide and was placed in isolation for hours while I threw up. No doctor was called. Suicide is wrong, however living like that is like living in hell.

Someone has to stop these places. If anything I have said helps one kid stay out of there, I have accomplished my purpose. I pray constantly for all these innocent kids. No one deserves what I went through.

I would also like to thank my Grandmother who fought long and hard with the legal system to have me removed from this prison (in my opinion). She hired Attorney's and never gave up. Finally, the system saw what was happening to me at Cross Creek. She didn't give up on me, and I had to go to several court hearings until the judge finally believed us. I was scared to death that I would be sent back and have to go in the isolation cell for speaking the truth.

My so-called therapist made me write a letter to my grandmother and the courts requesting them to drop the lawsuit. I was so afraid, and he made me sit in the middle of a room while all the other kids were forced to belittle me until I wrote the letter to his specifications. He would only admit that he "helped" me write it, but he actually dictated it to me. The humiliation and intimidation done by WWASP is far worse than anything else. I don't care if they change furniture when new parents are visiting, and I am sure the food is not good, however they are destroying children's minds with the mental abuse.

The intimidation and humiliation is something that no one should ever have to experience. I had to make up stories or I would be scolded. I was not a perfect teen, but I didn't deserve a concentration camp. I hope if any relatives think their grandchild, niece, nephew, or friend is at a WWASP facility please to what you can for them, as my grandmother did.

Thank you Grandma, for listening to my silent prayers screaming for help.

Amber Ingerman
Granbury, Texas
amh5402@aol.com