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Teen defiance

How to Help My Defiant Teen

Posted by Sue Scheff on September 03, 2021  /   Posted in Uncategorized

Finding Help for My Defiant Teen

Was your teen diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder?

Help Your Teens BigstockDefiantGirl-300x201 How to Help My Defiant Teen Oppositional defiance disorder (ODD) is commonly heard with teens especially as their hormones are raging and if they are also diagnosed with ADD or ADHD.

ODD is a condition in which a child displays an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, hostile, and annoying behavior toward people in authority. The child’s behavior often disrupts the child’s normal daily activities, including activities within the family and at school.

Many children and teens with ODD also have other behavioral problems, such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, learning disabilities, mood disorders (such as depression), and anxiety disorders. Some children with ODD go on to develop a more serious behavior disorder called conduct disorder. – Source Web MD.

Teens struggling with anger, rage, stress and anxiety due to ODD typically are not treated with medications.  It is about finding ways to handle the negative feelings and impulsiveness as they start escalating.

Symptoms of ODD

A pattern of negativistic, hostile, and defiant behavior lasting at least 6 months, during which four (or more) of the following are present ( Source-PsychCentral):

  • often loses temper
  • often argues with adults
  • often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults’ requests or rules
  • often deliberately annoys people
  • often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
  • is often touchy or easily annoyed by others
  • is often angry and resentful
  • is often spiteful or vindictive

Help Your Teens PexelsSadBoy-300x206 How to Help My Defiant Teen Seeking help through local therapy and possibly anger and stress management classes can be beneficial.

However as we know with most defiant teens will refuse to attend and will likely shut-down.  This is not in all cases, but it is very common.  Teens can be extremely stubborn.

This is why therapeutic boarding schools and residential therapy has been successful in treating these situations.  They are able to help your teen face their issues among their peers that are having the same feelings.

When they are placed outside of their environment it removes the pressures from home conflict and other issues that might be holding them back from opening up.  Don’t be mistaken, the family is still very involved in the recovery process.  It is about bring the family back together.

It’s rare that the one hour once a week on a counselors couch will make significant changes if you are dealing with a teen that has been struggling for over six months with these problems.

For more information on residential therapy options that specialize with oppositional defiance disorder, ADD/ADHD please contact us.

Also check our resources on the library page.

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How to Handle Teen Defiant Behavior

Posted by Sue Scheff on May 19, 2021  /   Posted in Teen Help

Dealing with Teen Defiance and Disrespect

Help Your Teens BigstockFamilyDefiant-300x199 How to Handle Teen Defiant Behavior The cliché of a teenager: the grunting, mono-syllabic, defiant creature that has appeared where your sweet little son or daughter used to be.

Not all teenagers are going to manifest such behavior, but clichés are usually clichés for a reason, and, as a parent/guardian, if you manage to run the gauntlet of the teenage years without encountering some troublesome behavior, you’ve lucked out big time.

Defiance is an exceptionally common trait for a teenager to exhibit: from the bog standard refusal to tidy a bedroom to more complex behavior around rules and shifting attitudes in relation to privacy, relationships and responsibilities.  There’s a lot going on in those young brains.  No wonder they’re so angry.

Why It Happens

The teenage years are a momentous time in brain land.  While some neural pathways are diminishing, new ones are growing and existing connections strengthened.  The prefrontal cortex is the last part of the brain to reach full maturity (and this often not until the early twenties), and so decision making duties are farmed out until then to the amygdala; this ancient part of the brain is linked to impulsive behavior and aggressive or emotional reactions, as opposed to the prefrontal cortex’s ability to provide a more rational, logic based approach to the steering of the ship.

“Added to the biological changes going on inside your teen’s grey matter, other issues can also prompt defiant tendencies: a growing desire for privacy can cause tension in terms of shared spaces and the extent to which your child wishes to engage in conversation,” says Katherine  Oliver, an educator at Assignment Help and State Of Writing.

The new responsibilities that come with getting older can also lead to stress and uncertainty, and peer pressure, too, adds to this heady mix and can further elicit troublesome behavior as your teen struggles to negotiate her place within the family and social structure.

What You Can Do About It

Help Your Teens BigStockFatherSon2-300x201 How to Handle Teen Defiant Behavior Keeping lines of communication open, and being able to offer an empathetic and supportive ear, is crucial in terms of handling defiant behavior.  By listening to him carefully, and without necessarily reacting to rudeness, you will be modelling desirable behavior, and also endorsing feelings of safety and validation.

If you can help your teen to navigate the feelings he is experiencing, to understand them and to help find solutions to any issues that may be at the root of them, you are giving him valuable tools with which to build resilience, communication skills and emotional strength.

Of course, there comes a point when a consequence or two need to come into the game.  The key thing here is to have set out beforehand what the expected behavior is, and the consequence of what will happen if this is not met.

Fundamentally, ensure that a consequence, once given, is followed through on in order to maintain clear boundaries, which is vital for both the wellbeing of your teen and for the wider family group; equally, use praise as necessary, for when expected behavior has been met or exceeded.

 Accessing Additional Support

Sometimes, defiant and difficult behavior can cross a line. Sometimes this behavior can become very difficult to manage, or can indicate a deeper problem or issue that needs exploring.  Perhaps your teen is missing lessons, or has become withdrawn, or their mood is unaccountably altered.  If this is the case, it could be time to access additional support, in the form of talking with your teen’s school about what’s happening, or speaking with your guidance counselor.

“Discussing the issues as a family can be beneficial; you could try drawing up an agreement together on acceptable standards of behavior, and setting household rules.  Other parents can also provide an invaluable source of support and advice,” says Ian Paul, a writer at UKWritings and Revieweal.

This Too Shall Pass

Your teen’s brain is a stormy place right now; hormones are swirling around, new synapses are firing and old ones fizzling out.  Compliance is replaced by defiance, rudeness becomes the standard method of communication and battle is joined seemingly at every opportunity.  But keep in mind the mantra of every parent or guardian: from the endless sleepless nights of babyhood, through to the toddler tantrums, to the fears as your child grows and begins to explore their world independently, and into the teenage years: whatever is happening, however rough the ride: this too shall pass.

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Have you exhausted your local resources and reached your wit’s end? Learn more about how residential therapy might be able to help your defiant teenager. Contact us today for a free consultation.

 Contributor: Lauren Groff is a freelance writer at Lia Help and Bigassignments. She’s a yoga instructor and personal trainer and feels so good after a workout that it’s her mission to spread that feeling around the world. She loves travelling, hiking and spending time in nature. Also, she blogs at Boom Essays review.

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